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The Contemplations, Rants & Reminiscences of DavidB327

Something Sensational To Read On The Train

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The Eurovision Imperative
Body Painting1
The British government have a top secret plan for digging the UK out of the current recession, and it’s nothing to do with Value Added Tax. Maybe one day this will be made into a film.

As everybody knows, people around the world don’t like the Brits. One of the symptoms of this attitude towards this island nation is the continued poor showing in the annual Eurovision Song Contest. By reversing the law of causality one could argue that if the UK actually managed to win the contest (to be held in Moscow next year), then everyone would love the Brits again, flock to this country and buy our goods. It would be just like the swinging ‘60s all over again!

This is the essence of the plan, and with so much at stake it has to succeed, and indeed it is assumed that this will be the case. Hence in the pre budget report the Chancellor announced that the Treasury forecast that the UK would be out of the recession mid way through 2009, and not sometime in the middle of the next decade as everyone else thinks.

As it is so crucial that the UK win next year’s Eurovision, the top notch and cutting edge song smith Andrew Lloyd Webber has been brought in to come up with a groovy tune. He’s also been to visit the Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, to see if he can persuade the Eastern block countries to vote for us.


The biggest secret though is yet to come, namely the artist to perform what will undoubtedly be a song that will endure forever. This is a closely guarded secret, but I can reveal that it is none other than Sir Paul McCartney! With such a combination how could we possible fail? Well actually, it could still be a load of garbage just like any other year. So please, even if you don’t like the Brits or our song, we really need you to vote for us. It’s very important.

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I notice that the encroachment of English, in the European Song Contest increases year by year.

Can I say, a native English speaker,that this both undemocratic and unethical. Perhaps the time has come to break the habit of "English imperialism" in the European Song Contest, and use a song, sung in Esperanto instead!

This is a serious suggestion, as you can see from the Esperanto music which is already available at http://www.vinilkosmo.com/?prs=listen or at http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-8837438938991452670

There's even cheesy Esperanto music available at http://www.ipernity.com/home/76977

I don’t see anything wrong in singing in English, and I don’t see how that can be construed as imperialism. The decision lies with each participating country. I assume that there is now a prevalence of songs being performed in English because it’s perceived that this increases the chances of winning the contest. It doesn’t both me either way, though in most cases it’s probably better that songs are sung in a language I can’t understand as most song lyrics are either juvenile or meaningless.

I don't know about imperialism, but it would be a brilliant stroke of genius if the U.K.'s entry were sung in Esperanto!

Genius? Unfortunately Andrew Lloyd Webber isn't one.

I think it would be rather nice if the UK entry was sung in Russian.

LOL!!!!!!!!! I second the Russian emotion.


Indeed - that would be something!

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